Thanks ABBEY!! and thanks Royal Mail.

Once again the Abbey has done me proud and rewarded my 15 years of loyalty as a customer by completely screwing up my finances whilst I'm 10000 miles from home.

My tax bill is due at the end of this month, so I log on to send them a payment as a dutiful tax paying UK citizen, but the Abbey has stopped access to my online account. It's too early to call them so I try to withdraw some rent money from my account and the ATM swallows my card, first time, no usual 3 strikes then you're out.

This cheeses me off a bit. So I phone them expecting that they have yet again put a stop on my account because of suspected fraudulent activity, despite the fact that we have been through this on 3 previous occassions in the past 5 months. But no there is no problem with my account, must have been a faulty ATM. This is not much solace as this means the card has been destroyed and they will have to issue a new one.

This in itself would be a big enough pain in the arse but I've already had problems with the Royal Mail forwarding me stuff here. So, in desperation I call the ATM company and they say that there is a miniscule chance of getting my card back, for miniscule read non-existent.

I call Abbey again and ask for options for transfering money here and paying my tax bill over the phone. They will do it but I will have to offer up my first born child beforehand. I ask again why I can't just have access to my account online and suddenly the bank/mail conspiracy reaches new heights. You see, I rather stupidly called the bank last week and asked them not to send anything by mail until I got that problem sorted, by which they took me to mean that I had lost my debit card and wished them to send me out a new one!!!???!!

So they cancelled my card without telling me, are sending my new one to Australia despite (actually because of) my instructions not to send anything here because of the shoddy service by the Royal Mail. And my online banking is linked to the new card which may or may not arrive.

The mail re-direction is another story but as I'm on a bit of a rant I might as well give some details on that too. Initially I was having mail redirected to Ian in Perth, this worked fine initally but Ian could only send mail every 6 weeks or so once enough had built up to justify the costs and hassle. So, to remove both these hassles from him I asked the Royal Mail just to forward stuff here instead. Easier, quicker and cheaper for both of us.

No mail for 5 weeks and I called them. They initiated an investigation and, guess what, 5 days later I received a letter saying that there was no problem and all was fine, I'm just not very popular. A few days later and still no mail so I called again. I was then told that there had been a problem and mail would now start coming, but I should phone everyone who'd sent me mail out meantime (probably a mere two dozen phone calls to the UK, not counting the people who might have sent mail that I didn't know about, so a possible visit to a psychic to help there), and get them to complain to the Royal Mail. Thus, the phone call to my bank and the subsequent cock-ups from there.

Miraculously enough some mail from 5 weeks previous suddenly appeared, two letters. I still have no idea where it had been. But nothing has arrived since.

So thanks for that both of you, thanks a lot, now I'm on the other side of the world with no access to money unless I cough up for charges which were caused by both of your incompetencies. Oh yes, I may well receive moeny back for these charges, but only after you've got the money and I spend the next 6 months on chasing your complaints department.

Sometimes I'm looking for reasons to go home and then I remember why I left.

I could go on (even more), but listening isn't their strong points.

Kangaroo Valley and Jervis Bay

We've been down to Kangaroo Valley before and its' the ideal spot to get away from Sydney at only a couple of hours drive. Normally we'd go into the city on Mandy's days off but the happy clappers have overtaken the place for World Youth Day which is just not a pleasant prospect for a day out.

We camped last time but it's just a bit too cold now. The wombats are still there in droves though we only heard them before, at least we got to see them this time.

Kangaroo Valley village itself is a pretty laid back type of place. Nice to retire to.

The next day we headed off down to Jervis Bay, reputed to have the whitest beaches and some of the clearest seas in the world.

Hyam's Beach

Murray's Beach

Booderee National Park contains a whole host of these beaches and little inlets and has great provision for camping.

Ruined Lighthouse - Looks like a spaghetti western set

Stick or Twist

It's that time in the adventure when it comes to making big decisions.

Should we go or should we stay?

So maybe it's time to look back first of all and review things.

It's a big file so apologies in advance.



Of course there is the other option -

Motueka to Lake Tekapo, and Aoraki/Mount Cook

I have a yearning to see Mount Cook/ Aoraki a bit closer this time so I make a long day's drive down most of the length of the island and stop off at Lake Tekapo for the night.

On the way to Mount Cook in the morning I stop at the visitor centre at the beautiful glacial green Lake Pukaki.

Mount Cook from Lake Pukaki

Driving up the road to Mount Cook is very reminsicent of Scotland, albeit on a slightly bigger scale. The drive is made all the more exciting by my bank. Yet again, despite informing them where and when I'd be for the next 3 months they have put a stop on my card to prevent fraud. This made the purchase of petrol impossible, and because of the time difference I won't be able to speak to them for about 10 hours. Phone credit on my mobile has also run out and I can't use my card to top it up. I only have 115 dollars in cash. It's also now Saturday so I can't get Mandy to put some cash in my Aussie bank account, and I can't speak to her anyway because my mobile has run out.

I am now very much in the middle of nowhere with maybe enough money to get me back to somewhere. The sensible decision would have been to just try and get back to Christchurch and wait till I can speak to them, but then I won't have enough time to get back to Mount Cook, and, much as I like Christchurch I don't want to spend my last 3 days there if I can.

So, maybe rather stupidly, I head further into the wilderness. But I've got the 'Iceman' to sleep in and food and water, so it's worth the risk.

The risk is worth it to see the glacial lake at the bottom of the Tasman valley. Again, it's hardly pretty but still quite humbling, as the vastness of the gouge in the land testifies to.









From here on it's back to Christchurch which I manage on the last fumes of the petrol tank. vThe bank are chastised and I settle in for a relaxing couple of days in a full size bed before heading back to Australia on Monday afternoon.

New Zealand is ace!

Kaikoura to Motueka

Although I want to spend more time in the Southern Alps I want to see the north end of the south island before I go back to Oz so I drive up to Nelson. It's a nice little city but just too busy for me and I drive on to Motueka further north.

Back to Kaikoura (on me own)

Mandy headed back to work in Sydney on Tuesday so I'm now left on me todd for the next week. My first plan is to head back to Kaikoura and do some whale watching.

I reach the whale watching centre and they place me on stand-by, in case someone doesn't turn up. Luckily enough they don't and I get on the boat.

We spend a couple of hours hunting them down (not literally), and are rewarded by 4 separate sightings of sperm whales resting on the surface before they descend back down to the depths of the Kaikoura Gorge to battle it out with giant squid.

My puny camera wasn't capable of capturing the beasts so I just soaked it up.

Got up early the next morning to get shots of the sunrise and the lava beach down at the seal colony.




Next stop is Nelson.

Queenstown - Luge and Jetboat

Perched above Queenstown is Bob's Peak and a short, steep cable car ride takes you up to the Skyline Gondola on it's summit for breathtaking views of the lake and the 'Remarkables'.



This is the bungee jump from Bob's Peak, no chance of either of us even attempting that one. However, there is a 'luge' track around the mountainside and that definitely looks worth a go. Fortunately enough this luge doesn't involve throwing your lycra clad body down a bob-sled track on a skateboard. It's more of a downhill go-kart ride, mercifully lycra free.


I of course take to it with Michael Schumacher style aplomb..
Whilst Mandy adopts the 'Driving Miss Daisy' approach, whilst wearing a melon on her heid.

After a couple more runs we head down to the harbour for a jet boat ride. We are of course obliged and quite willing to wear life jackets...But I can't help feeling that the spray capes are just for to cheer up the crew...Why am I thinking of the BetaMax monster from the Mighty Boosh?

Jet boating is definitely the way to get around on water. 700 of chevrolets finest horsepower pushes 20 of us through the water like a knife through butter. 50 miles per hour may not seem like much but in 6 inches of water it's a lot of fun. I'm not sure if these videos will give any sense of the speed or the mobility of these machines, but I can guarantee that this put a big smile on everybody's face.

Bridge Near Miss

360 degree